Ralf the Destroyer
Ralf has been hired to destroy a distant planet after the Trans-galactic Counsel receives a threatening message of universal conquest from an ancient radio transmission. What they didn’t know when they hired him is that he’s actually a really nice guy and kind of a procrastinator. Ralf, experiencing many setbacks in his personal and professional life, takes them up on their “offer” in hopes of finally finding the prestige and respect that he craves.
When Ralf arrives at his destination (Earth) however, he discovers the wonders of a living planet, its inhabitants and immediately winds up in debt, ignored and develops a crush. Now, Ralf attempts to placate his conscience by reasoning that he could rule the planet rather than destroy it.
Unfortunately for Ralf, the majority of inhabitants on Earth fail to notice his invasion or even notice the fact that he is an alien. Along the way, he encounters many different types of people, adding further dimension to his inner conflict. Ralf’s interplanetary balancing act oscillates from the thought provoking to the absurd as he hovers over The Button wrestling with his conscience.
Unfortunately in her quiet little town there are few real emergencies, so she has often resorted to creating them. Now her moment of glory has finally come with an epic threat laid at her feet. But With her history of “crying wolf” she soon realizes that that no one will listen to her. Undaunted, she now realizes that she alone must save the world, even if it means making friends with the enemy.
Thane “the harbinger of doom” walks around New York City with his sandwich signs attempting to warn the populace of the alien apocalypse to come. He is generally ignored and occasionally despised but he is definitely on a mission. The real question arises, “is Thane as crazy as everyone thinks he is?”
Kaiser is about as manly a man as you will find anywhere. Kaiser’s past is spotty at best and rumors that he was a “strong man champion” and a member of the “Hell’s Angels” have yet to be refuted. He spent his youth bucking the system and fighting “the man”, unfortunately for Kaiser these things always catch up with you.
Kaiser took personal inventory and has been trying to turn his life around. Looking to redeem his misspent youth he’s decided to take Ralf under his wing and make a man out of him. Ralf really doesn’t want to be a man, but feels he must honor this “chief-like” human, plus Kaiser’s bigger than he is.
Bryon is a good natured adrenaline junky who moved to America from Yuendumu, Australia as a teen-ager after his father passed away. But not before hearing fantastic the tales of strength and valor by his Dad of his old war buddy, Kaiser. What Bryon lacks in stature, he more than makes up for in enthusiasm and as far as he’s concerned Kaiser is a super hero. So if Ralf is Kaiser’s next project, then they’re best friends.
Mai is an ambitious, young astronomy student bent on finding her own greatness through celestial discoveries… and Ralf is immediately entranced with her majestic ethereal presence (at least that’s how he sees it) as she and Ralf cross paths. Ralf pines away for her but his crush is unrequited.
Erin is the 19 year old waitress at “the Donut Hole”. Erin grew up in town and was quite a “Tomboy”. With a strong sense of justice, she was often found mixing it up with the boys both on the ball field and off. This “tomboy” way of life suited Erin just fine until she turned 17 and found she was rapidly becoming extremely feminine all at once.
This sudden change led to an even more abrupt change in the way “the guys” looked at her, something she was not at all ready for. She provides Ralf with a guileless feminine perspective in their many conversations which are often interrupted by Erin’s jealous boyfriend. He believes that no guy would want to be “just friends” with Erin.
Ray is a morally depraved creature who dreamt of nothing more than winning the lottery or looting a plasma screen while he imagines that he’s a spy living a life of government sponsored debauchery. Short of those goals, Ray was content to revel in his daily habits which included; smoking, drinking, felandering, stealing, loitering, instigating fights, spitting, farting, public urination, profanity, littering, stalking, speeding, belching, gambling, eating other people’s food and overstaying his welcome… That is until, of course, he meets Ralf… and the wheels of cunning and treachery begin to turn.
Men in Black
This “technically non-existent” branch of the government is responsible for tracking down and covering up alien and UFO events as well as keeping tabs on the aliens who choose to remain here. Ever since Ralf arrived this group has been running in circles trying to catch up with him and get him in custody as he manages to inadvertently undermine their diplomatic work.
Instiqs are a race of insectoids that were cyberised by the Trans Galactic Council to battle their dreaded foe the Noropian Gorts. The Council miscalculated and the cybernetics enhanced them so much that they became sentient and developed their own organic enhancements.
Instiqs usually keep to themselves on their hive planets, unless of course you disturb their nest by say… accidentally destroying their sun like the Xyoans (Ralf’s people) did. The Instiqs and many other races tend to hold a grudge about these things and have standing bounties for anyone who can eliminate a “Destroyer”.