For all of those out there who have been thinking they need to change their desktop wallpaper, you’re in luck! I managed to upload the very same wallpaper I put on my computer featuring Ralf the Destroyer on Webcomic Wallpapers.com. […]
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Tag: extraterrestrial
[ {Commander: Greetings, Ralf the Destroyer. The Trans Galactic Council has asked us to personally escort you to the floor of the Senate to discuss a matter of SUPREME IMPORTANCE.} ]
[ {Ralf: Well, in THAT case, I feel HONORED.} ]
[ {Title: Ralf the Destroyer by Scott Lincoln} ]
[ {Ralf: I can never remember who YIELDS at a rotary...} ]
[ {Commander: The Trans Galactic Council has DECREED that if a XYOAN is found, to ESCORT it to the senate.} ]
[ {Lieutenant: SIR?! A Xyoan?! They want a DESTROYER?! They are a PLAGUE to the 32 known galaxies! A SINGLE destroyer can leave an ENTIRE armada in RUIN!} ]
[ {Commander: Calm down Lieutenant. It's highly UNLIKELY to even FIND one away from its collective.} ]
[ (SPLAT!) ]
[ {Commander: DESTROYER! Code RED! Plan Omega! PLAN OMEGA!} {Ralf: WHOA! They should put a yield sign there.} ]
[ {Ralf: Well, here I go... Hopefully the Earth greets me as enthusiastically as the Galactic Council did...} ]
[ {Commander: FIRE AT WILL! KILL IT! KILL IT!} ]
[ * ]
[ {Ralf: Maybe Earth has a BACKDOOR.} ]
[ {Gothra: Ralf, why do you wish to AVOID the ship's avatar?} {Ralf: Well, free roving robots don't like Xyoans, Computer.} ]
[ {Gothra: Why?} {Ralf: I think it's because we're technopaths and they FEAR we'll over ride their free will.} ]
[ {Gothra: Does that make them HOSTILE?} (WHAM!) ]
[ {Gothra: Oh, dear... she bypassed blast door safety protocols...} {Ralf: In both cases I'd say... Apparently, so...} ]
[ {Ralf's Log: Before destroying Earth, I feel I should explore it and its people.} ]
[ {Ralf's Log: ...to judge RIGHTLY I must not overlook ANY important information...} ]
[ {Ralf's Log: ... sociopolitical... historical... meteorological... biological... } ]
[ {Ralf: Computer, does Earth have any small, FLUFFY animals?} { Computer: Please define FLUFFY.} ]
[ {Ralf: Gothra, this is Ralf... Open hanger bay 782, please.} ]
[ {Radio: This is Gothra's avatar... You'll need to submit your security code.} {Ralf: WHAT?! There's no security code!} ]
[ {Ralf: Xyoans are technopaths and... HEY! Wait! I'M the CAPTAIN! You let me...} {Radio: Code, please.} ]
[ {Ralf: GREAT! I have ONE crew member! They're a ROBOT and there's STILL a mutiny!} ]
[ {Wife: Honey, it's two A.M., come back to bed.} {Husband: I can't sleep...} ]
[ {Husband: First the sky is dark, then it's light, then dark, light, dark... What on EARTH causes that?!} ]
[ * ]
[ Well it has been a long trip to get to Earth. ]
[ Maybe I should get out, stretch my legs and get some fresh air. ]
[ * ]
[ {Ralf: Computer, how much time have I wasted staring out this window day-dreaming?} {Computer: Four Earth Days.} ]
[ {Computer: The lunar cycle is 27.32 days and an Earth week is composed of seven days... } ]
[ {Ralf: ALRIGHT! Three day week-end!} ]