Tag: destroyer

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[ {Commander: Greetings, Ralf the Destroyer. The Trans Galactic Council has asked us to personally escort you to the floor of the Senate to discuss a matter of SUPREME IMPORTANCE.} ]

[ {Ralf: Well, in THAT case, I feel HONORED.} ]

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[ {Title: Ralf the Destroyer by Scott Lincoln} ]

[ {Ralf: I can never remember who YIELDS at a rotary...} ]

[ {Commander: The Trans Galactic Council has DECREED that if a XYOAN is found, to ESCORT it to the senate.} ]

[ {Lieutenant: SIR?! A Xyoan?! They want a DESTROYER?! They are a PLAGUE to the 32 known galaxies! A SINGLE destroyer can leave an ENTIRE armada in RUIN!} ]

[ {Commander: Calm down Lieutenant. It's highly UNLIKELY to even FIND one away from its collective.} ]

[ (SPLAT!) ]

[ {Commander: DESTROYER! Code RED! Plan Omega! PLAN OMEGA!} {Ralf: WHOA! They should put a yield sign there.} ]

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[ {Ralf: Well, here I go... Hopefully the Earth greets me as enthusiastically as the Galactic Council did...} ]

[ {Commander: FIRE AT WILL! KILL IT! KILL IT!} ]

[ * ]

[ {Ralf: Maybe Earth has a BACKDOOR.} ]

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[ {Gothra: Ralf, why do you wish to AVOID the ship's avatar?} {Ralf: Well, free roving robots don't like Xyoans, Computer.} ]

[ {Gothra: Why?} {Ralf: I think it's because we're technopaths and they FEAR we'll over ride their free will.} ]

[ {Gothra: Does that make them HOSTILE?} (WHAM!) ]

[ {Gothra: Oh, dear... she bypassed blast door safety protocols...} {Ralf: In both cases I'd say... Apparently, so...} ]

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[ {Ralf's Log: Before destroying Earth, I feel I should explore it and its people.} ]

[ {Ralf's Log: ...to judge RIGHTLY I must not overlook ANY important information...} ]

[ {Ralf's Log: ... sociopolitical... historical... meteorological... biological... } ]

[ {Ralf: Computer, does Earth have any small, FLUFFY animals?} { Computer: Please define FLUFFY.} ]