Tag: comic

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Ralf: So why are you quitting?

Estelle: I've placed you in hundreds of jobs and you've FAILED at ALL of them. In spite of that, you continue trying, every day, for success... Again and again and again...

Ralf: So I've INSPIRED you to reach for more in life?

Estelle: NO! You've driven me NUTS! I can't take it any more!

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Estelle: Okay Ralf, today's your lucky day. I'm quitting so you can talk to the big boss about job placement.

Ralf: Robots can quit?
Estelle: We're unionized too.

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Estelle: (Oh boy, here we go again)

Estelle: Ralf, everyday you come in for a new job and everyday you come back a miserable failure. You CAN'T KEEP doing this.

Ralf: Because there's a LIMIT on reapplication?

Estelle: NO, because there's a LIMIT to how much UGLINESS I can witness.

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[Ralf's job attempt #532]
Ralf:(Hover cab test driver... Hm. I like driving...

Ralf: Are these targets on this suit?
Science Xyoan: Yes, they track motion

Ralf: HEY! This steering wheel doesn't work!

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Ralf: I don't like the job I was assigned.

Estelle: We can't change the job because the match is based on your identity and character.

(pause)

Ralf: I don't like the personality I was assigned.

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Ralf: I think my application may have been rushed

Estelle: Each individual and application are carefully considered and given the utmost attention and respect

Ralf: You put me in a dunk tank, I CAN'T SWIM!

Estelle: We thought treading water was a perfect fit for you

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Ralf: You see Thane, the career assignment process on Xyo was pretty direct...

Estelle: Just honestly answer the questions, your social value will be tabulated and you will be assigned a job matching your personality and worth.

(Ralf in a Dunk Tank)

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Thane: So tell me Ralf, how'd you score a sweet job like Destroyer of Earth?

Ralf: Well, I started at the bottom... there weren't very many job options where I was from...

[Left sign: REALLY COOL JOBS, experience required]

[Right sign: JOBS TO LOSE YOUR WILL TO LIVE BY, no experience required]

Ralf: I don't think I like the direction this is going.

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Ralf: Thane would you be upset if I told you I was an alien sent here to destroy your planet?

Thane: (wearing a sign that reads: aliens have come to destroy us all) Could I stand next to you so I could say, "I told you so" to the whole world?

Ralf: What would it matter, everyone would be disintegrated moments later?

Thane: Still! Imagine the look on their faces!

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Thane: (wearing a sign that reads: The end is nigh) You know Ralf, people always say, "The two things you should never talk about are religion and politics"!

Thane: I say, "What else is there WORTH talking about"!

Ralf: How do they respond to that?

Thane: I don't know... I always wake up in the back of a police car after that...

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Ralf: Thane, what's this sign for? (sign reads: FREE HUGS)

Thane: Oh, that one is for when I need to sleep in Central Park at night...

Thane: NO ONE comes near me with THAT baby on!

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Thane: You see Ralf, I wear this sign when I'm down (sign reads: The epoch of doom is upon us) and this one when I'm mad (sign reads: Aliens have come to destroy us all)...

Thane: and this one when I'm happy (sign reads: The end is nigh).

Ralf: But you wear that one a lot?

Thane: (sign reads: The end is nigh) I'm an up beat kind of guy!