Tag: space

Transcript

Estelle: (Oh boy, here we go again)

Estelle: Ralf, everyday you come in for a new job and everyday you come back a miserable failure. You CAN'T KEEP doing this.

Ralf: Because there's a LIMIT on reapplication?

Estelle: NO, because there's a LIMIT to how much UGLINESS I can witness.

Transcript

[Ralf's job attempt #532]
Ralf:(Hover cab test driver... Hm. I like driving...

Ralf: Are these targets on this suit?
Science Xyoan: Yes, they track motion

Ralf: HEY! This steering wheel doesn't work!

Ralf the Destroyer Wallpaper

Posted on February 8, 2010 by ScottLincoln

For all of those out there who have been thinking they need to change their desktop wallpaper, you’re in luck! I managed to upload the very same wallpaper I put on my computer featuring Ralf the Destroyer on Webcomic Wallpapers.com. Best of all it’s free!

Yes, even though the purpose of that site is to raise support for hungry cartoonists (honestly, how much soup can one person eat?) I chose to make this first offering a freebie for you guys because I appreciate your readership. It comes formatted in several sizes and no strings attached, so go ahead and download a copy for yourself!

Transcript

[ {Ralf's Log: Before destroying Earth, I feel I should explore it and its people.} ]

[ {Ralf's Log: ...to judge RIGHTLY I must not overlook ANY important information...} ]

[ {Ralf's Log: ... sociopolitical... historical... meteorological... biological... } ]

[ {Ralf: Computer, does Earth have any small, FLUFFY animals?} { Computer: Please define FLUFFY.} ]

Transcript

[ {Ralf: Gothra, this is Ralf... Open hanger bay 782, please.} ]

[ {Radio: This is Gothra's avatar... You'll need to submit your security code.} {Ralf: WHAT?! There's no security code!} ]

[ {Ralf: Xyoans are technopaths and... HEY! Wait! I'M the CAPTAIN! You let me...} {Radio: Code, please.} ]

[ {Ralf: GREAT! I have ONE crew member! They're a ROBOT and there's STILL a mutiny!} ]

Transcript

[ {Wife: Honey, it's two A.M., come back to bed.} {Husband: I can't sleep...} ]

[ {Husband: First the sky is dark, then it's light, then dark, light, dark... What on EARTH causes that?!} ]

[ * ]

Transcript

[ Soon I shall fulfill my mission and triumphantly return to the Galactic Council, where I will be heralded as a HERO! ]

[ Imagine THAT! I'll be FAMOUS and everyone will want a piece of me. ]

[ * ]

[ What's this Universe coming to, when you've got to BLOW UP a WHOLE planet just to get people's attention? ]

Video Trailer

Posted on December 2, 2009 by ScottLincoln

Hey there! Just posted a promotional video trailer to the “About the Comic” page (see link in top nav bar) for anyone who hasn’t seen it. I made this a few years back when I was using Flash 8 and had just started shopping my comic around the syndicates. I purchased a great sound track for it (which totally makes the video) from a royalty free music site called Shockwave Sound, so make sure your speakers are turned up!

Transcript

[ Okay, I'm here to destroy Earth; I've got the gun and the mandate... All I have to do is push this button to start the sequence. ]

[ Okay, I'll just press it NOW... I mean, NOW! Drats... ]

[ I'm going to do it... I'm going to do it... NOW! No, NOW! Now! No, really, NOW! ]

[ I wish my conscience and my ambition had more in common. ]

Transcript

[ Poised over Earth in this expansive dreadnaught, I wonder about the task I've been assigned... ]

[ My natural distrust of others, along with the ease and expense of this mission, seem a bit unsettling. ]

[ I should probably just trust the council, destroy Earth and be done with it. And yet... ]

[ *sigh* Nothing slows down the wheels of progress like paranoia. ]

Transcript

[ Here I stand, Ralf the Destroyer, poised to obliterate a whole world. In the silence of this massive war ship, I contemplate Earth's future. ]

[ Are its people consumed with the destruction of each other, their world and galaxy? From here it seems so beautiful... ]

[ I guess beauty is really in the eye of proximity. ]

Transcript

[ So the Council made me, Ralf the Destroyer, judge of Earth. Actually, they call all of us "Xyoans" Destroyers. We're really a very gentle people. Sure curiosity may have led to the eradication of 16 solar systems and 9 suns... ]

[ But those were purely accidental... ]

[ People say, "It's the thought that counts ", but they rarely mean it. ]

Transcript

Ralf: Wow! Me, Ralf the Xyoan, judge of an entire world on behalf of the Trans-Galactic Council and given a ship with enough firepower to destroy the Earth with one plasma blast.

Ralf: Which I'm hoping they won't take personally.

Transcript

Ominous Voice: Like a galactic predator, the Noropian flagship "Gothra" (a continent sized battleship) approaches Earth cloaked in the Moon's shadow...

Ominous Voice: Size - 1000mi across, Plasma Cannon - 1 Zettwatt, Purpose - Destroy Earth, Sole occupant - Ralf the Destroyer

Ralf: I just love the reverb on this PA system

Starting Monday…

Posted on November 13, 2009 by ScottLincoln

Okay, looks like I’m set to start posting Monday the 16th three times a week. I picked up some ad space at Project Wonderful so hopefully that will generate some traffic as well.

For any new comers, Ralf the Destroyer is an all ages strip I developed for daily syndication (a long road I’m still traveling) after assisting on Nancy for 6 years. To that end it is created entirely by hand (no vector lines, no fonts etc) just india ink on bristol board. It is a labor of love and I hope that comes through the artwork.

Transcript

[ The Destroyer is coming! ]